Yesterday was April 23, 2008. One month after my mother's birthday. It was interesting to me to watch my reactions to the date each time I had write it down or type it into a document.
I was keenly aware of the '23'.
I have taught many classes on loss and grief. I have lead many groups for bereaved people. One of the points that I make to grieving people is that the date of the death, the day of the week of the death, the birthdate of the deceased and other special dates associated with the deceased are dates to which we should pay attention. I have never talked about the 'day' as in my case the number '23'.
I think I learned something about my own grief work yesterday.
I must say that while my thoughts were pleasant, filled with gratitude, and beautiful, they were, I observed myself, also filled with twinges of pining: "I wish she was here."
| | Posted by AZRON at 10:53 AM - | |
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It was watching my late father's process evolve, where I learned for SURE that there ARE worse things in life than DEATH.
As someone who has 'shrink' friends, a 'shrink' sister, and one who has been a 'shrink' patient in past times of need, I've always asked MY shrink WHO THEY talk to? GRIN.
Or, to quote the words of one of MY favorite singers, Alice Cooper:
"We talk to OUR shrinks .... They talk to THEIR shrinks .... No wonder WE'RE up the wall". (WINK) ....
Btw: My sister, one of FIVE I DEARLY love, has had her own personal demons. Even and in spite of, having a four year college degree, a masters degree and an P.H.D. degree ....
I once told her, "Physician heal thyself". SMILE.
Your profile was very interesting, indeed. You have been blessed to have such a fine family beside you and the health and opportunities to do what you've done, etc. in all listed.
BLESSINGS to you and yours, kind soul, on this SUNDAY of days.
Again, my condolences on your loss ....
My BEST,
TallPockets.
First of all, condolences on your father's death. I have taken care of ALS patients as part of my work over the years. It is very difficult to watch someone whose mind is working perfectly being unable to move, etc. It is especially difficult to deal with the lack of ability to communicate clearly. I did learn that if I sat at 45 degree angle to my ALS patients I could read their lips and put together that with what I was hearing. (Coworkers always tried to figure out how I got so much information from my ALS patients - I tried to teach them my insight - but often to little avail. thank you for taking the time to leave some of your thoughts and feelings here. I can see it is healing for you to do so.
My parents died within 6 months of each other. This was a great loss as children we all wanted to spend more time with our mother but the cancer over took her.
I did write about my own father's death in an earlier blog, you may want to check it out.
Yes, healing is a personal project. I don't think any of us ever achieve 'healed' status :)
Oh, about Alice Cooper - my sons both walked the same halls of the same high school he did - and graduated from the same high school here in Phoenix. It is a small world!
ron
First of all, condolences on your father's death. I have taken care of ALS patients as part of my work over the years. It is very difficult to watch someone whose mind is working perfectly being unable to move, etc. It is especially difficult to deal with the lack of ability to communicate clearly. I did learn that if I sat at 45 degree angle to my ALS patients I could read their lips and put together that with what I was hearing. (Coworkers always tried to figure out how I got so much information from my ALS patients - I tried to teach them my insight - but often to little avail. thank you for taking the time to leave some of your thoughts and feelings here. I can see it is healing for you to do so.
My parents died within 6 months of each other. This was a great loss as children we all wanted to spend more time with our mother but the cancer over took her.
I did write about my own father's death in an earlier blog, you may want to check it out.
Yes, healing is a personal project. I don't think any of us ever achieve 'healed' status :)
Oh, about Alice Cooper - my sons both walked the same halls of the same high school he did - and graduated from the same high school here in Phoenix. It is a small world!
ron
My BEST to you and yours, once again ....
TallPockets.
I circle them or I star those dates or I draw a little cross next to the date...as if I'd ever forget them? Why do I do that? To "honor" them? It certainly isn't because I'll ever forget them.
You know what else I do...I mark their birthdays but what's so strange about those dates...(and you have to remember, it was 25 and 21 years ago I lost my parents and grandma)....I notate the bdays for a different reason...perhaps to honor but deep down I have this fear of forgetting their bdays? Weird...ME the one that remembers everyone and their cousin's bday...I'm afraid I'll forget their birthdays...
weird....
m.
All this is rhetorical, not looking for answers necessarily...just an observation I've made about myself...a little curious....now I'm just rambling....
Your behavior indicates the significance of these people in your life and your attachment to them = and you are honoring them in remembering these important dates.