Jimmy Giuffre, 86, music pioneer of classically inspired jazz
Matt Schudel
Washington Post
Apr. 30, 2008 12:00 AM

Jimmy Giuffre, a jazz musician who composed a popular big-band anthem of the 1940s and became an innovator of a minimalist form of classically inspired jazz, died Thursday at Berkshire Medical Center in Pittsfield, Mass.

He had Parkinson's disease and would have turned 87 last Saturday.

Giuffre had his greatest early fame as the composer of Four Brothers, a popular instrumental hit for Woody Herman's big band in 1947. Later, after a stint in the saxophone section of Herman's big band, Giuffre formed a series of trios that explored what he called "blues-based folk jazz."

His groups, invariably called the Jimmy Giuffre 3, often included guitarist Jim Hall and blended advanced musical techniques with a homespun, back-porch feeling. Giuffre, who played clarinet, tenor saxophone and baritone saxophone in the 1950s, gained modest popularity in the late 1950s and was featured in the documentary Jazz on a Summer's Day, filmed at the 1958 Newport Jazz Festival.

Later, as his ideas reached beyond the mainstream, Giuffre lost his audience and concentrated on teaching and composing. In the past 10 years, however, as his early recordings were re-released, he was recognized as a subtle and forward-thinking jazz pioneer.

After early experience in jazz bands, Giuffre took an interest in counterpoint, fugues and other elements of classical music.

He became identified with John Lewis, George Russell, Gunther Schuller and other musicians who sought to blend jazz and classical music in a style known as Third Stream.

James Peter Giuffre was born in Dallas on April 26, 1921.

Take a listen and enjoy a more serene time...

Yesterday was April 23, 2008. One month after my mother's birthday. It was interesting to me to watch my reactions to the date each time I had write it down or type it into a document.

I was keenly aware of the '23'.

I have taught many classes on loss and grief. I have lead many groups for bereaved people. One of the points that I make to grieving people is that the date of the death, the day of the week of the death, the birthdate of the deceased and other special dates associated with the deceased are dates to which we should pay attention. I have never talked about the 'day' as in my case the number '23'.

I think I learned something about my own grief work yesterday.

I must say that while my thoughts were pleasant, filled with gratitude, and beautiful, they were, I observed myself, also filled with twinges of pining: "I wish she was here."

Today is March 23, 2008 - the 81st Birthday of my mother.

My mother was born in Coaldale, Alberta, Canada, the second daughter of Russian Mennonite immigrants who arrived in Canada in 1926 from the Omsk region of Russia. She was one of 13 children. (Interesting note - while she was one of the younger ones at her death at 74, only she and three of her siblings are deceased at this writing. Longevity seems to the name of the game!)

I know little of her growing up years except that I am sure that they must have been difficult. She was born shortly after the arrival of the family in Canada. The Depression came soon after. The family moved to British Columbia in the last 1930s.

Her father was not a church-going person; her mother was a woman of faith. Her father became a Christian in Canada sometime in the 1930s.

My parents met while attending evening Bible School classes at the church my father attended. They were married on August 9, 1947.

When I think of my mother today I am reminded of her devotion to her family, her hard work, her faith and her courage.

My mother was not the best cook; she was, however, the best baker in the family and in the neighborhood. When it came to family gatherings, she was always asked to contribute her butterhorns or pies or other pastry items. She was an excellent seamtress; she made many of my sister's dresses.

My mother was a very hard worker. I remember her putting many hours into her garden, into caring for the strawberry patch (we had about an acre of strawberries), taking care of the chickens (we had about 1,000 laying hens when we were small), and then helping in the dairy when it came to milking the cows. I still recall a winter when my dad was laid up with a sore back for months, mother and I milked the 20 cows morning and night. Besides doing all the chores outside, my mother also had to do all the other work inside the house.

My favorite memories of my mother are around playing chinese checkers with her while she ironed clothes. Since I had younger sisters to play with, I don't remember me and my mother spending much time together.

My mother was a woman of deep faith. She was a faithful church attender, a person who read her Bible and prayed. Her faith was not an intellectual faith; she actively practiced her faith by her deeds of kindness to many of the neighbors. My mother was attracted to all those in the community who seemed to be rejected by others. She was a woman filled with grace and forgiveness for those who most needed it and didn't find it.

It is probably this last feature of my mother's life which has affected me the most to this day: no one is outside of God's love. Love all you meet - no matter how unlovable they may seem.

My mother was also a woman of great courage. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 67. She underwent a radical bi-lateral mastecectomy after diagnosis. She courageously fought off the disease for many years, ended up in a wheelchair for a number of years, refused to be a victim and finally succumbed to the disease on June 15, 2000 - six months after my father's death.

Today is Easter Sunday, 2008. So it is fitting that I celebrate the resurrection on my mother's 81st Birthday.

Mom, I love you.
Mom, thank you for loving me.
Mom, thank you for teaching me how to pray.
Mom, thank you for showing me how to love others.

Mom, I hope to see you someday - celebrating God's love with you.

(c) 2008 Ronald Friesen

This weekend I attended a workshop on forgiveness led by Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring who has written a great book on forgiveness: How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not to, Harper/Collins, 2004.

As Dr. Spring was talking about this topic, I realized that one of the issues in broken relationships is how people talk to each other.

Name calling - "You bitch!"

Labeling - "You're a lazy bum!"

Stereotyping - "You're just like your father!"

Prophesying - "You will grow up to be delinquent!"

Freezing Attitudes - "I will never forget this!"

Generalizing - "You are always late!"

Catastrophysing - "If you don't earn more money, we will be in the poor house forever!"

I am sure you can think of other forms of speech which destroy relationships.

When you and I use these destructive ways of talking to our loved ones, we are disregulated - we are angry, we are out of control, we are demanding, we are often disrespectful. Ultimately we are being destructive; we should not be surprised if we reap broken relationships with those around us.

Woe betide the target of our venom, if they speak in the same or even more destructive manner.

We may be legitimately angry about someone's behavior. We may be justified with our irritation or frustration.

However, if we want to maintain a relationship with the person who has wronged us; we need to regulate ourselves before we confront this person. We must calm down, take a deep breath, go for some fresh air before we confront the person with whom we are displeased.

We cannot expect a person to react in a regulated manner, if we are disregulated.

The secret of maintaining reconciled, mature relationships is to communicate in a regulated manner.

If we fear that we might loose control of our temper at any point of the confrontation, we need to do the following:

1. We need to place our hands and body in an open stance. This stance projects openness and vulnerability. Hands across the chest, in pockets, or behind our back suggests a closed heart.

2. We extend a compliment. "I love you." "I care about you and our relationship." "Thank you for being willing to listen to me."

3. We admit our frustration and our fear. "I care about us so much that right now I am afraid that I may say or do something which will hurt our relationship." "I love you and I am afraid that right now I may say something or do something that will only destroy our relationship." We take ownership of our own feelings.

4. We state our intention. "I am going to leave the room for 20 minutes. I am going to cool down and think about what I am going to say to you." It is very important to declare how much time you are going to give for the 'cooling down' period. If you fail to do this, your family member will assume that you are walking away (which is a form of stonewalling) and disrespecting him or her.

5. We remove ourselves from the situation. Return with our clearer thoughts for re-engaging in the discussion. We return with a regulated emotional system.

If you are a disregulated partner or parent, you cannot expect your partner or child to react to you in a regulated manner. You reap what you sow.

(c) 2008 Ronald Friesen

I am not a big fan of the label 'dysfunctional'. I think every relationship is 'dysfunctional' in some way.

I like to think of people being 'regulated' or 'disregulated'. When a person is out of control, emotionally or physically, he or she is 'disregulated'. When this person is disregulated, e.g. yelling, screaming, throwing things, etc., others around them will feel disregulated and may act in disregulated ways, e.g. yelling, screaming, crying, running way, etc.

When we think of 'dysfunctional' relationships we usually think of people staying in relationships which are destructive in some manner.

I think the word, 'co-dependent', for example, is often misunderstood and misused to describe many relationships. We are all co-dependent (although I prefer the term, 'interdependent') in some way in our relationships.

Unhealthy co-dependency is when we stay in a relationship even when it is destructive in some way.

The woman who stays in a relationship with a man who abuses alcohol to the extent that he begins to loose jobs, threatens the loss of his home, perhaps uses money that should be spent on food and other necessities, is in a destructive co-dependent relationship.

The key issue is the 'destructive co-dependent relationship.' Clearly the husband is disregulated - his behavior and emotions are out of control. This woman needs to regulate her feelings and thoughts in such a way as to begin a plan to get out of the relationship. Creating a safety plan is the first step in getting out of the relationship.